Once upon a time I met Matthew, and Matthew took me home to his parents.
This wasn't your typical "Meet the parents" event, I was taken to a giant house, in a whole private neighborhood of giant houses. In this giant house there was a car collection. A Porsche collection to be exact. And in that giant house lived Matt's very small cute mother and his very giant, very successful, somewhat loud and opinionated and not afraid to show it, father.. Glen.
Seriously? What normal girlfriend wouldn't be a little intimidated??
Well it took me about 9 years to realize, that Glen and I get along pretty great. We even share a lot of the same opinionated opinions about things - Party decorations and clam chowder aside.
It all started the day Alex got his mission call.
We were invited to go over to their house and watch him open it along with about a billion other people. Now, I know my mother-in-law quite well and knew that she was drowning in stress since it was such an unexpected event. I called her and asked if there was anything I could help with. I had just gotten done doing a wedding for a relative and had some extra decorations hanging around and she asked if maybe I could bring some to the party to spruce things up a bit. Of course I did! I brought some hanging tissue paper puffs that I had extra in the back of the van and we went over early and hung them.
Glen, being of the male species, didn't really think that they were very necessary. Which was OK, since I didn't really think they were either, since their house is breathtaking as it is, but I was willing to help whenever I could. I went out of the room, and upon re-entering the room, I heard Glen telling someone that "the stupid things weren't worth the bother." and when he had seen that I had heard his rather thoughtless comment, he apologized with all of his heart.
Now pause.
My first response was hurt. I had only done what I was asked to do. I had spent time and energy to help out in the best way that I could only to find out that "the stupid things weren't worth the bother." Then the hurt turned a little bit to embarrassment, shame and a little bit of anger. It's shocking to me to think back on this experience and be able to site it as the moment our relationship changed for the better.
I said a prayer. I hate feeling anger. Anger is such a weak emotion. Anger is a self defense coping mechanism of making yourself feel you are in control when you are faced with other negative and uncomfortable emotions. My initial emotions were hurt, embarrassment and shame and when I didn't like feeling those emotions I turned it into anger. Such a weak emotion! All it does is mask the real problems. I had to get rid of the anger I felt. I received a very clear answer. It was really a reminder of what I had already known, we choose our own emotions. We are in charge of what we feel. Nobody has, or ever will have enough power to dictate how we feel toward something. With something as precious as our family relationship on the line, I realized that I needed to change my feelings toward the situation.
I changed my anger to understanding. Glen is a guy. Glen is a practical person. He is straight to the point, no frills necessary. What is "Stupid and not worth the bother" to him, is something very different to a lot of people. I could either make both of us uncomfortable during a special event, or I could make light of it. So, I went in to Glen, and told him what a great party it was, and that it's a good thing he had the tissue paper balls hanging from the ceiling because the party would have flopped without them.
He laughed a big hearty Glendon laugh.
From then on, he pointed out the awesome decorations to everyone he came into contact with and credited me for them. He would shout across the room "Do you like the decorations? Alicia made them!" and I would raise my glass to him proudly and we both laughed and laughed.
Upon leaving that night, I had Matt sneak some up to his bedroom where we hung them above his bed. I wish I could have seen his reaction, but according to Rae Ann it was pretty awesome.
Since then, Glen and I kind of understand each other.. Or at least accept that we don't understand each other at all.. It could go either way.
Matt and Kimmie will sometimes joke around that they are arguing about something stupid and Glen will say "Are the two of them EVER going to grow up?" to which I will reply "Most likely not.. Matt likes to argue with everyone. He never wins, but he tries anyways.." then we giggle quietly to ourselves.
Now here's the whole point of the post. Brace yourself:
I ate clam chowder!
Yep! He got me to eat clam chowder!
The conversation went something like this:
"Hey Alicia! Have you tasted the clam chowder?"
"No.. I've never eaten clam chowder in my life and don't plan on it anytime in the near future."
(He goes to the cupboard and pulls out a mug and proceeds to pour a little bit of clam chowder into it)
"Um.. No thank you.."
"Try it! It's good."
"It has clams in it."
"Yeah."
"Have you ever seen a clam Glen?"
(He laughs)
"Are there chunks of clams in it?"
"No! It's creamy"
"Mmmm! Creamed clams!!!! ... OK, but I'm going to use a fork."
(in a disgusted voice) "You can't use a fork!"
"Yep! I'm gonna!"
(he shakes his head)
"I need a chaser in case I throw up, get me a glass of juice"
"You don't need a chaser!!!"
"Yes sir I do! OK here goes..." (about 5 mins of me whining and him mocking my chicken-ness)
I shove the barely clam chowder coated fork into my mouth.
"Mmm creamy!"
Then the moment between the clam chowder hitting my tongue and the time it took to down the juice cannot be measured by conventional time measurements. It happened much too fast for that.
"That doesn't count!"
"Yep it does!! I ate clam chowder! Oooooh Yeeeeah!"
"No you didn't! You didn't even have time to taste it!"
"Yeeeeees I diiiiiid! HEY MATT!! GUESS WHAT!!!!" (and then I ran away bragging)
So, guess what. I ate clam chowder.
and I didn't even throw up.
All because he hated my party decorations.
Thanks Glen!! :)
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